BackgroundECHAD MI YODEA – a Hebrew song sung during Passover contains this verse:
Who knows four?
I know four.
Four are the Matriarchs;
Three are the patriarchs;
Two are the tablets of the covenant;
One is our God, in heaven and on earth.
In Genesis 12-50 we read about the Patriarchs: Abraham, Isaac and Jacob (shown with wife Rachel in picture). Their wives are secondary not only in their culture, but also in the story found in Genesis. From 2,100 to 1,800 BC women are viewed as property: first of the fathers, then of the husbands. There were laws that protected women at the time (i.e. The Laws of Eshnunna, The Code of Hammurabi), but even then these laws had a patriarchal perspective. For example, rape was a crime against the father, not the woman, as it deprived him of his “bride price.” Marriage was legal document transferring ownership of the woman from the father to the husband. While these laws seem very sexist to us, many of them were intended to protect women.
DinahNevertheless, women were taken for granted. In Genesis 34, we see that Dinah, the sister of the 12 sons of Jacob, is raped and taken to the home of a young man from a leading family. He then asks Jacob to marry her. Dinah’s brothers were angry because “Shechem had done a disgraceful thing in Israel by lying with Jacob's daughter.” They viewed the crime in terms of how it reflected on their father and their family. Yet there is an interest in their sister as well, since only Dinah’s two full brothers take action against this young man and his family. Her brothers deceive the young man and his family saying they will approve the marriage if the family is circumcised. They agree and circumcise themselves. Dinah’s two brothers then enter their city, kill all the recovering men, and take their sister home. We are never told anything about how Dinah feels about what happened. Had she finally fallen in love with the young man only to have her brothers come and kill him? How was she treated when she returned home? The focus of the story just is not on her.
TamarSimilarly, Tamar in Genesis 38 is treated with a noted lack of concern. She marries Judah’s son Er, but he is wicked so God kills him. Judah has his next son, Onan, sleep with her to produce a child for his dead brother. He intentionally sabotages the act (Genesis 38.9) so that she will not become pregnant and bear a child whom would get a share of the inheritance. Because of this, God kills him too. The next son, Shelah, is too young to marry, so Judah sends Tamar back to her father to wait for Shelah to grow up. However, when he does grow up, Judah does not give him Tamar. Therefore, Tamar dresses as a prostitute, sleeps with Judah, and steals his staff and seal. When Judah finds out Tamar is pregnant he condemns her to die. She produces his staff and seal and the gig is up.
Tamar is mistreated even by the standards of her society. Neither Onan nor Judah fulfills their obligations to her. She improvises to get the child she is entitled to and Judah is shamed for his actions. Note that while she dressed as a prostitute, she was entitled by the law to have a brother or male relative of her late husband produce a child with her. Judah, on the other hand, sleeps with a woman he think is a prostitute. In addition, she is a shrine prostitute of a pagan God! While he condemns Tamar to death for her alleged prostitution, he receives no such penalty. At the end, God rewards Tamar with twins, while Onan is dead and Judah is disgraced. Society saw her as a second-class citizen, and Judah and Onan took advantage of her low station. God, however, looked after Tamar and punished those who took advantage of her.
The MatriarchsWe find our matriarchs living in this social context. Yet we see something special about the relationship each has with her husband. Let us consider the interpersonal relationships of the Matriarchs and their husbands.
SarahSarah is the wife of Abraham. In Genesis 16, after 10 years in the land, she tells Abraham to take her servant Hagar as produce a child with her. Abraham “listens” to her. The child would be considered the child of Sarah and Abraham. What is interesting is that Sarah takes the initiative and tells Abraham what to do, and he listens to her. Next, Hagar becomes pregnant and despises Sarah. Sarah blames Abraham and tells him to fix it. This time, though, he says it is her problem. Sarah abuses Hagar and she flees, but an Angel tells Hagar to return. She does and bears her son, Ishmael. Finally, Sarah bears Isaac (Gen. 21). She gets angry when Ishmael picks on Isaac and demands Abraham send Ishmael away. Abraham cared for his son Ishmael though and was very concerned. In addition, the customs demanded Ishmael be received as a son. God intervenes and tells Abraham to send Ishmael and Hagar away and that he would watch over Ishmael.
Whatever the culture restrictions on women, Sarah was free to urge, to complain, to initiate, and to insist that her husband take a certain course of action. Their personalities and interpersonal relationship was much more important than the customs of the day.
RebekahRebekah was a relative of Abraham and God identified her to Abraham as the woman for his son Isaac (Gen 24). The servant negotiated with her brothers (her father was dead) on her coming back with him and becoming Isaac’s wife. Laban and Bethuel (her brothers) agreed to the marriage (24.50-51), but when the servant pressed them to let him leave with her immediately, they said:
Then they said, "Let's call the girl and ask her about it." So they called Rebekah and asked her, "Will you go with this man?" "I will go," she said. (verses 57-58)
Rebekah’s brothers respected her decision. If she had said no, we have every indication that her brothers would have honored her decision.
Rachel and LeahRachel and Leah married Jacob (the son of Isaac and Rebekah). They were the daughters of Laban, Rebekah’s brother, who tricked Jacob into marrying Leah first, even though he loved Rachel. They stay in their relatives land and spend 20 years working for Laban. When hostility arose between Laban’s sons and Jacob, God tells him to it is time to leave and return to the land he promised Abraham. What happens next is amazing, considering the culture. We would expect Jacob to gather his family and leave, but instead he calls a family meeting! He asks his two wives (even Leah) what they think.
Then Rachel and Leah replied, "Do we still have any share in the inheritance of our father's estate? Does he not regard us as foreigners? Not only has he sold us, but he has used up what was paid for us. Surely all the wealth that God took away from our father belongs to us and our children. So do whatever God has told you."
Then Jacob put his children and his wives on camels, and he drove all his livestock ahead of him, along with all the goods he had accumulated in Paddan Aram, to go to his father Isaac in the land of Canaan. (Genesis 31.14-18)
Jacob valued the input from his wives and they gave him a thoughtful and accurate response. Only after this exchange does Jacob do what God commanded him and leave for the Promised Land. Jacob, Leah and Rachel displayed mutual respect and cooperation, demonstrating more egalitarianism in their relationship than we might have expected.
ConclusionDespite the restrictions of the day, women were respected and valued by God and the matriarchs were respected and valued by their husbands. The personal relationships involved in these stories transcend the cultural expectations of women and their place in the family.
